


if you need me, need me to be with you

by awakeanddreaming



Series: i will follow where you lead [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: AU, F/M, Gilmore Girls (inspired)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 00:10:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awakeanddreaming/pseuds/awakeanddreaming
Summary: Hi! So, a lot of you asked for more of my Gilmore Girls AU. Here is a very soft and a little bit smutty scene of Tessa and Scott’s first time together.This is for eastfromeden and only_because3 who made me promise to write smut for this AU. Here it is!Thank you to bucketofrice, only_because3 and pinkgerberdaisies for reading and making sure I make sense.





	if you need me, need me to be with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EastFromEden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EastFromEden/gifts), [only_because3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_because3/gifts).



> Hi! So, a lot of you asked for more of my Gilmore Girls AU. Here is a very soft and a little bit smutty scene of Tessa and Scott’s first time together. 
> 
> This is for eastfromeden and only_because3 who made me promise to write smut for this AU. Here it is! 
> 
> Thank you to bucketofrice, only_because3 and pinkgerberdaisies for reading and making sure I make sense.

“God Tess,” he breathes, a sharp exhale, barely managing to push the words out over his tongue. “You’re so beautiful.”

She’s standing at the foot of his bed completely naked, her damp hair hanging over one shoulder. The mid-afternoon sun shining brightly through the window dances along her skin and she glows. His eyes map the freckles dotting her collarbone, like stars in the sky, down her sternum, over the tops of her breasts; he still gets lost, looking at her, trying to take all of her in. He breathes in, slow and controlled, and he’s surprised he can breathe at all. He closes his eyes and opens them again, like a refresh, wanting to experience seeing her like this for the first time again and again. 

She wraps one arm protectively over her lower stomach, the other comes up to cover her breasts. He reaches out, from where he’s reclined on the bed, to pull her arms away, but stops. He won’t move them for her. Though he desperately wants her to understand, to believe, how beautiful, how flawless, he thinks she is. He understands why she’s nervous, and if she is starting to feel uncomfortable he will fully respect that. 

They’ve talked about it, because that’s something they do, talk. Because he never wants anything to get lost in misunderstanding or lack of communication, though he knows eventually something will, but he knows when that day comes they’ll be able to handle it. They’re building a solid foundation because she isn’t just some girl. Being with Tessa means being part of a family, her and Janie are a family. He never pictured this as his future, but he finds it's now the only future he wants. So, they’ve talked about her worries and about how much they both want this. 

“It’s not like it’s anything bad,” she said, one night while they were curled up on his couch. His mom had invited Janie to her monthly Moir cousin sleepover at the farm. Tessa had been so overwhelmed with emotions at the thought that her daughter was being welcomed like that, like part of the family, that they’d skipped their plan for a dinner out in London and instead he took her back to his little apartment over the diner and cooked for her. “I just...I never thought I’d get to have this. To…” he thought she might say fall in love, but she shrugged her shoulders instead.

He reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand, a gesture of comfort. “It’s okay if you’re not ready Tess.” 

“I feel like I’m being silly, I’m almost twenty-seven years old,” she’d sighed, adjusting her sweater a bit where it had been pulled away. They’d been kissing, taking their time exploring each other with their mouths, when he’d pulled the loose neck of her sweater down to reveal the tops of her breasts, trailing his lips along the curve of them. It wasn’t until he tried tugging off the sweater that she’d frozen, pulled away. 

“What you’re feeling isn’t silly T. Never.” 

“It was never like this,” she said, after a beat. “We were kids and it was always fast and sloppy, trying not to get caught...I don’t even think he ever even saw me fully naked then?” her intonation formed like a question, as if she were asking herself this. “And god, the condom broke on the first time, so it must have been then, right? And there were only a handful more times before I found out...about Janie and it was over.” 

His heart ached for her in this moment, for the Tessa of now, trying desperately to move forward, and for the teenage girl she was, whose entire life was put on hold because of one night. He ran his thumb over the apple of her cheek, “Tess how long...has it been since then?” 

She shook her head, looking down, away from him, her cheeks reddening, like she was embarrassed. “No, there were maybe two or three times when Janie had just turned four. Chris just graduated and came here for a visit to get to know her. We slipped up...I did at least. I got caught up in her having her dad, even for a bit...and even that, it was sneaking around when Janie was watching a movie or with Marie-France and I hated that,” she pauses, finally looking back at him. “But it wasn’t ever going to work. Janie and I, we found a home, a family here in Ilderton and he didn’t fit here...and he still had, still does have, so many big ambitions that we don’t fit into either.” 

Scott wanted to be mad for her, wanted to hate Chris. How could anyone want something more than this little family? If Janie were his daughter he couldn’t imagine anything that could keep him away from her or from Tessa. But at the same time Chris is Janie’s dad — without him, there would be no Janie, Tessa wouldn’t be in Ilderton. If things had gone differently he wouldn’t have this opportunity with Tessa. He loves them both so much, he’s so thankful that they are here now. He’ll never understand Chris’s decision to leave the two of them, but he finds he is strangely grateful for it. 

“I’m sorry Tess,” he said instead of anything else. Because he is. He is sorry for her that she didn’t have a better experience than what she did, better than quick and sloppy in the backseat of cars, or for fifteen minutes when her kid was watching a movie. She deserves so much more than that. He wants to give it to her, but only when she’s ready. 

“I’m not, not really. I have a great kid. And for a really long time that was all that mattered. Even dating, it didn’t feel like something I wanted or needed. Besides, everyone in Ilderton knew me and knew about Janie...and I did classes online mostly,” she paused to take a breath. “And everyone in this town helped me so much that I would have felt terrible ever asking anyone to watch Jane just so I could go on a date.” 

He’d looked at her, taking in the furrow in her brow, the frown, the look of guilt for even having thought of asking that of someone. “You deserve to be happy too, T.”

“I am,” it was a whisper, breathed against his lips as she moved back in to kiss him. 

That conversation had been a month ago, and there had been a few more in between. And Tessa had told him she felt ready sometime after the first time he said, I love you. But then there was Tessa’s birthday, where he’d taken her and Janie to London for dinner, when he’d spent the night for the first time at her house. Though nothing happened that night, not with Janie in her room just downstairs. Then it was Janie’s birthday and they’d had a picnic in the park together and he’d helped Tessa out with the food for her party, though he’d made sure to be working at the diner that day, not sure if it was appropriate, yet, for him to be at her birthday party with her friends. And it was also the end of the school year, and of the dance year. Tessa was so busy with rehearsals and sewing costumes, staying up late at night with her sewing machine set up at her kitchen table, the floor littered with stray pins and scraps of fabric, coming into the diner barely awake in the morning, fingers covered in pin pricks. It seemed like she hardly had time to breathe—though the show had been a huge success. 

Now, Janie is away at summer camp, for the first time ever. Tessa’s first time away from her daughter for more than one night in ten years. She’d been too restless, alone in her house, so he’d invited her to spend the week above the diner with him. He didn’t expect anything to happen when he did, but he’d hoped. Last night, they’d almost gotten there, and then spent a lazy morning lounging around. She’s just gotten out of the shower, her towel dropped and pooled on the floor around her feet, he wants to look at her like this all day. Skin still pink from the heat of the shower, glowing in the afternoon sun. He wants to kiss every inch of her skin, explore her with his lips and his hands. But her arms are folded around herself protectively, the determination in her gaze fading. 

Instead, he rests his hand gently on her wrist, where it sits just above her hips. He waits with it there, his touch light, waiting to see if she’ll pull away. She doesn’t and he leans in close, so that his words spill over her skin. “You know I love you, right?” 

He’s said it a few times. Not enough. He could never say it enough. He’s going to start telling her more now. 

He watches the flat of her stomach expand as she takes a deep breath in, closing her eyes, she nods. “Yeah?” she says on the exhale, her voice drifting quietly to his ears. 

The arm covering her chest has moved, her hand creeping down to crawl over the ghost of stretch marks on her stomach, the barely there evidence she carried a child. Her finger traces one of the faint, fine lines, a white lightening bolt pulling across her pale skin, visible only when her body turns a certain way in the bright sunlight. Then she covers it with her hand. 

“Yeah,” he says. “I love you.” He leans forward and presses his lips firmly to one of the two other marks, just above her belly button ring where the small scar stretches upwards an inch. “And these are beautiful.” 

Her hand comes to thread through his hair and she holds him against her stomach, “Thank you. I...I love you.” 

“Yeah?” he asks, his lips moving against her skin. 

He can feel her small chuckle ripple through her abs. “Yeah. I really do.” 

He presses another kiss to her stomach then inches higher, lips brushing the bottom of her ribs, she sucks in a sharp breath when he reaches the tip of her sternum. “Is this okay?” he asks, his words fanning out warm and wet over her flesh. 

He can see and feel the way her chest rises and falls, short and shallow. Her other hand comes to join the first in his hair, nails scratching lightly against his scalp when she fists her hands. “I want this,” she says, tugging a little at his hair to lift his gaze to meet hers. “I want you.” 

Her words come out quickly, in the space of a single breath and he can hear the little waver in her voice, like the vibration of a plucked string. He can also hear the desire laced through the words, can feel it in the way her body trembles beneath his lips when he presses an open mouth kiss right between her breasts. And god he wants this too, wants her so much it aches. He can feel the ache where his sweatpants are pulled tight, where he’s straining to be with her. But he wants to, no he needs to take his time. He needs this to be entirely about her, soft and slow and filled with all the love he feels for her. 

He trails his lips up her sternum, over her collarbone, follows the thrumming of her pulse up her neck, under her jaw until he finally finds his way to her lips. He kisses her tenderly, parting her lips with tongue just enough to dip his own in, but doesn’t deepen it further. He pulls away, crawling up the bed and reclining. 

Her eyes are still closed as he shuffles to the head of the bed and arranges himself on his side. She blinks them open and he watches as she frowns, it’s slow to creep across her lips as she realizes he isn’t near her anymore. 

“Come here,” he says. “Lay down with me, beautiful.”

She crawls onto the bed, lying next to him on her back, angling herself slightly towards him. “Hi,” she says, a shy smile forming on her lips. 

He kisses her. “Hi,” he responds, lips pressed to hers. “Are you sure about this?” 

She nods and shifts slightly to reach for the waistband of his sweatpants, but he shakes his head and gently pushes her hands away. Her face falls slightly and her arms move to wrap around herself protectively again. This time he does catch her wrists and pull them away. 

“No,” he shakes his head. “Don’t do that. Tess, I want you. God, I really do. But I want this to be about you, I want to take care of you first, to take our time. Okay? We aren’t sneaking around, there’s no rush.” 

She turns her head to press a kiss to his shoulder. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

He shifts his body so he is entirely on his side pressed up close to her. He can feel the cool of her skin (she’s always cold) against his bare chest, can feel the controlled rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, waiting for him to move, to speak. Here he has a perfect view of how the breeze catching the leaves of the tree outside his window causes the sun to dance across her belly, her chest, her thighs. Light and shadow playing, chasing each other over the smooth surface of her skin. He reaches his hand, the one not being used to prop himself up on the bed, to out and touches where the light skitters across her arm, walking his hand up over her shoulder to her face. 

“You’re amazing,” he says, hand on her cheek, his thumb running along her bottom lip. “You’re smart. So, so smart.” He kisses her forehead. “And determined and strong.” Another kiss. “And funny. I don’t think people realize how funny you are, but you’re hilarious and your humour never fails to brighten my day. Even when you can’t quite land your joke.” 

She laughs, the sound bubbling out around them, as warm as the sun shining in through the lace curtains. “Yeah, I need to work on my delivery.” 

“Mm,” he hums, “I can help with that.” He moves his hand from her cheek, grazing the backs of his fingers along the column of her neck, over her collarbone, until he reaches the tops of her breasts. He circles the swell of them with his fingertips, feeling the goosebumps that form as he goes. “These are perfect,” he says, circling in closer and closer to their peak. 

“Not too small?” she asks, voice stuttering a bit as he reaches the point where the skin darkens, a ripe peach. “They were bigger when Janie was born, for a bit. But then I swear after,” she shrugs her shoulders, rubbing them against the mattress, “they shrunk down even smaller.” 

He’s circling her nipple now, just lightly with the tip of a single finger. He watches as her eyes drift closed and she hums. “Not too small. Perfect, absolutely perfect,” he says, before leaning over her to suck her nipple into his mouth. 

A small squeak escapes her as her back arches off the bed. He swirls his tongue around her nipple before kissing it and pulling back. He’s smiling up at her as he notices the red flush to her chest and cheeks. He draws his fingers down her abdomen, and she squirms under his touch. He isn’t meaning to be teasing, he wants to explore her body, to learn it’s ins and outs and study her reactions to his touch. He wants to lavish every part of her with affection, to let her know how truly wonderful every inch of her is.

He runs his fingers down to her belly button, flicking her belly button ring playfully as he does and then traces over the fine lines that run over her abs, barely visible to the naked eye. Her eyes fall closed again and he stretches his palm out over her lower abdomen. 

“This,” he says, flexing his fingers against her skin pressing gently over firm muscles. “This is strength. This, right here, grew a baby,” he can hear the wonder in his own voice, in the way it softens. “A baby that you raised into a beautiful, smart young girl. You’re amazing, Tess.” 

He leans forward to kiss her once before allowing his hand to move, for his fingers to migrate lower. They graze over the jut of her hip and down the outside of her thigh, over her knee before climbing back up the inside. He can hear the change in her breathing, shallower, less controlled as he gets closer to his final destination. Her hips jolt upwards when he finds the sensitive skin right at the crease of her inner thigh. He lets his fingers trace the groove there, back and forth, moving closer to her opening with each pass. 

She’s so wet, his finger glides easily around her opening when he gets close. She’s started making these high, throaty whines as he circles his finger around in her wetness, through her folds. “You still okay, Tess?” he asks. “If you want to stop just let me know, okay?” 

She shakes her head, he can hear her hair rubbing against the sheet. “Don’t stop,” she says, huffing it out in a laboured breath. “Please Scott.” 

“As you wish,” he says, with a lazy sort of smile, the kind that’s probably pretty dopey looking but you don’t care because you’re just so stupidly happy. He captures her lips with his the same moment he thrusts a finger inside her, trapping the noise she makes. Her moan vibrates as it travels through him, reaching into his soul. He strains, almost painfully against the front of his sweatpants. 

He thrusts into her slowly, angling his finger upwards until he finds the right spot. He can feel her muscles fluttering around his finger, her wetness dripping down the back of his hand. “God, you feel so good,” he groans into her hair. Then without thinking, “I bet you taste good too.” 

Her eyes fly open. “Scott,” she says, it’s almost a whine, not like the mewling whines of earlier, like a child embarrassed by something their parent has said. 

He looks at her as her nose scrunches up in embarrassment, her eyes cast away, her cheeks bright red. He stills his finger inside her. “Tessa,” he starts, encouraging her to look at him. “Have you...did he ever…” 

She shakes her head and blinks slowly. “No, never. We were sixteen...it wasn’t...no it wasn’t something he did.” 

“You weren’t sixteen after though...Tess,” he groans. He’s about to ask if she ever went down on him, but he knows the answer and it makes him mad. He tries hard not to let this moment be marred by anger at all the ways the only other person to have this part of Tessa let her down. He won’t be let that be what today is about. 

She shrugs her shoulders, “It just never happened. It wasn’t...it wasn’t something I knew how to suggest or ask for…it’s not...it’s fine.”

“Let me show you,” he says, already starting to trail his lips and tongue down her body. 

“Okay,” she sighs, her eyes already closed again as he licks a line down her stomach, pulling her belly button ring into his mouth. 

He does show her, he works her with his mouth and finger until she’s writhing underneath his arm where it’s slung over her hips holding her to the bed. When she comes apart it’s with his name on her lips, her voice echoing through the small apartment. 

Once she’s caught her breath and he’s climbed back up the bed to rest next to her she finds his hand with hers and interlaces their fingers. 

“Did I tell you I love you?” she asks, still panting slightly and looking up at the ceiling. 

“You may have, yes. Do you take it back?” 

She shakes her head, then nuzzles it into his shoulder, “I may love you more now.” 

He knows he’s smirking and it probably looks a bit smug but he can’t help it. The rise and fall of her chest is still heavy as she tries to get her breathing back to normal and her legs still tremble slightly against his. He brushes her hair off her face where she is cuddled against him and she looks entirely blissed out. “It definitely sounded like it.” 

She laughs and he can’t help but catch it in a kiss. She hesitates at first, when she tastes herself still on his lips. She pulls away slightly, making a face like she’s thinking, before threading her hands into his hair and pulling him back in, slipping her tongue between the seam of his lips. She moves one hand from his hair to his shoulder and pulls him on top of her. She moans when he rolls his hips against her, letting her know how hard he is. 

“You know,” he whispers into her hair. “We may not be sneaking around, but there might be customers downstairs. There is definitely a Chiddy downstairs.” 

“I don’t even care right now,” she says, fingers scratching down his back before dipping under the waistband of his sweatpants. “Can you take these off now?” 

He has to laugh at her eagerness. “You sure? You’re ready?” 

She bucks her hips up and tugs at his pants. “Yes. So very ready.”

“Okay,” he kisses her again, long and slow. He reaches out to his bedside table for a condom, the most expensive kind because that, of course, was a worry she’d had too. It was something that they’d talked about and he knows she started the pill a little over a month ago. Another reason they waited, under advisement from her doctor that it’s most effective after at least a full cycle. So, although he has no idea if it makes any difference at all he bought name brand instead of drugstore condoms, the four extra dollars worth her not having to worry or at least less to worry about. 

He shimmies out of his sweatpants while hovering over her, her head tilts down to watch him with interest as he springs free of the restrictive fabric. He swears she smiles a little to herself once he’s free. It’s that beautifully endearing shy smile she has, when she is trying to hide it but her eyes don’t lie and her cheeks brush dusky rose. He reaches for the condom and she continues to watch as he slides it on. 

“Is like this okay? Do you want to...do you wanna be on top?” 

She runs her hands down his body, the backs of her fingers grazing his abs and it sends a shiver through him. “No,” she says, grabbing hold of his hips. “No, this is perfect. I like this...you over me like this, close...it feels good. It feels wonderful and safe.” 

All he can do is nod before she is tugging at his hips, drawing him into her, as if some magnetic force hadn’t been drawing him towards her since the day they met. He places one hand on the mattress above her shoulder and the other at her hip as he lines himself up and slowly lowers his body onto hers, into her. He feels her envelop him inch by inch, he feels himself throb as her muscles contract around him pulling him further in. 

Her head lolls back against the pillows, exposing the column of her throat, his lips find her pulse point as he thrusts the final bit inside her and stills for a moment. He breathes with her for a moment, this rise and fall of their chests finding a perfect back and forth. He can feel every breath, every beat of her heart around him. 

“I love you,” she whispers, fingers back in his hair, hips beginning to move slowly, experimentally underneath him. 

“I love you so much,” he responds, moving to meet her. 

They start off with a slow build, finding a rhythm together. He alternates between kissing her and pulling just far enough away to look at her, to find her eyes with his, to get lost in the depths of them like they’re bottom of the ocean pulling him under. 

When he feels her starting to flutter around him he pauses. “Can I try something?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” she answers on an upward thrust. 

He sits up slightly and pulls at the back of her knee, drawing her leg up so that it’s draped over his upper arm, angled out a little. “Is this okay?” 

“Mm, yeah, yeah it’s okay,” she says, though he isn’t sure she is entirely aware of what she is saying or answering until he pushes himself deeper into her. She moans and her whole body arches off the bed, being drawn up towards his. “Oh. Oh. Yeah. More than okay,” she breathes heavily. “Do that again.” 

He does. And again, and again. Each time building up speed and pressure, coaxing all kinds of different noises from her. It’s a symphony he wouldn’t mind hearing over and over. He kisses her before reaching between them, finding her clit he presses down at the same time he thrusts harder, harder than he has yet to. She lets out a silent cry and it only takes three more thrusts before they are both tumbling over the edge, falling head first into euphoria, wrapped up in one another. 

It’s a long while before either of them can do more than work to control their breathing, settle their pounding hearts. It isn’t until after the condom is disposed of and the covers are drawn up over them that she says, “You know, if I’d known sex could be this good I don’t think I’d have been able to go so long without it.” 

He laughs, not allowing himself to feel bad for this revelation, she doesn’t seem to. “Does this mean we won’t have to wait too long to try again?”

“Only until I can feel my legs again,” she lays against his chest, kissing the spot right over his heart. “Thank you,” she says. “For making this so perfect.”


End file.
